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Fixing Sexuality: Part One

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2

Think about that: your Bible actually suggests quite emphatically that the solution to sexual brokenness and pain (in all it’s forms) is married sex. The Apostle Paul’s simplistic solution: get married and have married sex.

I find this really intriguing, because as a Pastor, I’ve often told people the very opposite: “Being married won’t solve your sexual addictions - fix it first!!”. Popular sociology says that if sexual promiscuity is a problem before marriage, it will likely be a problem after marriage, and sometimes even be exacerbated. And I’ve watched it happen. Guy has a lust issue with looking at other women all the time. Guy still has the problem in marriage. That his wife is physically attractive seems to have no impact.

Yet this passage here is definitely pushing a different direction. Is Paul’s advice out-dated, or worse, simply wrong?

Or is the problem with what married sexuality has become in our time?

I’m leaning to the latter. For starters, married sexuality is almost always portrayed as anything but exciting and glamorous. We’re inundated by cultural stereotypes, especially through media, that marriage is provincial and predictable and plain boring. But more than that, the general testimony of married folks is that what we see has actually been our reality. Today the majority of married people report pretty mediocre sex lives.

And it could be that this kind of meh-sex is not what Paul was referring to when he said it would be a cure-all for sexual deviance?

Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a lovely deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love… Proverbs 5:18-19

Is this the kind of sexuality that Paul was referring to, a fresh water fountain bubbling with erotic, sensual, and vibrant intimacy between a man and woman in a lifelong monogamous relationship, a bubbling, splashing vortex of freshness, life and excitement!

I think so.

For a fact, very few of us equate married sexuality to that bubbling brook, and that’s a problem. The average sex-fountain of a married couple in our culture might look more like this:

And we wonder why culture is floaking to the murky green sewer of sexuality outside of God’s design, regardless of how many sermons and blogs saying it's a bad thing. The church might be better served by simply figuring out how to get the fountain flowing again. The witch’s cauldron of incest, pornography, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, and what have you, might start to lose it’s appeal. Cold glass of liquid ecstasy, or snake-piss-warm sewer-water - you decide.

Could great married sex really be the solution to the twisted sexual revolution of contemporary times? I think it's worth exploring (and married peeps - have fun while you're at it ;).

About the author

Tony Warriner

Tony Warriner

Tony is an author and lead pastor of Evangel Chapel in Fort St. John, and is known for his unique approach to local church & spirituality. Check out his first book, Boondock Church. · Fort St. John, BC ·